I have finally figured it out. It is why I became a nutritionist all those many years ago. What am I talking about?
I used to repeatedly say that I've had weight issues all of my life. However that is not quite accurate. It is what I thought up until about 10-15 years ago. When I began to look at pictures of myself from my high school years, the truth is that I was a very normal (sized) girl. Ever since I can remember, my mother told me I had fat legs and I interpreted that to mean that I was fat. If she saw me eating things like potatoes and bread, she would tell me I didn't need to eat that as it would make me fatter. After a while I tried hiding my eating habits from her. I began to see my self as fat, and, I spent the next MANY years believing I was fat. The problem with that is - if you see and believe yourself to be something long enough, you adopt behaviors that will eventually bring it to pass. I've been working for years to undo the damage my mother inflicted on me by constantly telling me I had fat legs - to this day I won't wear shorts, despite how hot it is.
As I have gone through my life, I have learned that there are certain foods that are problematic for me. You have heard people say they've been on every diet known to man? Well, that is certainly my story. Keto, Paleo, Fruitarian, Vegetarian, Vegan, Carnivore...on and on and on - I have tried them ALL!
Such a vicious cycle! What ever diet I happened to be on at the moment, I would do very good for awhile. Maybe a week, maybe a month. But then something would happen and I'd throw all caution to the wind and start binging again. There were certain foods I HAD to have, they called my name. Feast or famine, no normalcy...that was my life. I started wondering what was wrong with me and why I couldn't just be normal.
Over the years I've continued to learn and unlearn about nutrition. I learned a while back that diets really don't work. While diets truly don't work, there are things I must moderate in my life to enjoy the level of health I want to enjoy. I'm happy to say, for me and many others like me, I have identified the culprit and it's name is CARBOHYDRATE! Why is that a problem? It's a pretty deep subject. Stay tuned.